Gary Montgomery

I coach individuals, managers and businesses to be better than they think they can be.

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The Truth

January 8th, 2012 · Leadership, Presentations, Self-belief/trust, Success

Here’s the truth!  People want to feel good about themselves.   I know you know that.  But keep it in mind as I continue with some thoughts on how we make presentations and in our general communication.

Since we now both know the truth (that people want to feel good about themselves) I am going to operate within that understanding.  My goal when I communication with others will be to help them feel good about themselves.   Not to give them information, not to tell them how to run their lives, not to tell them what to do.  My goal with everything I say will be to help them feel good about themselves.

This may sound very simple to you but many, and I am sure you know some, do not care how others feel.

So, what benefit is it to me to help people feel better about themselves?  Well,  if I help them feel better about themselves they will listen to me.  You would wouldn’t you?  And if I help individuals feel better about themselves they might follow my lead, because they like what they hear, and see.  And if they follow my lead, then I may be able to influence them to a certain way of thinking, convince them of an idea or plan of action.  If that happens I have become a leader.

In the past, when I stood in front of an audience, I wanted to be the smartest person in the room.  I’ve changed my thinking.  I now want the audience members to become the smartest people in the room, and I want them to get their information from me.  I want them to feel better about themselves because of interaction with me.  I want to influence them to think better of themselves.

It’s a different way of thinking about communicating.  Help others want to listen to you.  There are skills and processes to make that happen, but first we need to buy into the idea.

I worked with a gentleman, let’s call him Jim, who wanted to improve his communication skills.  Well let me change that.  He wanted to “stick it to his boss!”  Yeah, that’s what he said.  His boss said Jim appeared threatened and awkward whenever they talked.   His boss said that Jim needed to improve how he communicated so Jim wanted to “stick it to him.”

I told Jim I couldn’t help him reach his goal of “sticking it to his boss.”  But I did offer that I could help him become a better presenter and communicator if that was his goal.  I suggested his goal was misdirected.

Let’s back up for a moment.  If Jim’s goal was to “stick it to his boss”, he would never be able to help his boss feel better about himself, and remember that’s the communication goal I’m trying to sell.

So, what I suggested for Jim to do is try and communicate so that his boss would feel better about himself.  Each time they talked, attempt to help his boss reach a goal, convey a point, or try to learn something different about his boss.  What happened is that Jim brought something new to the communication.  A new way of thinking, of influencing , of taking control of the communication.   And a side note, Jim started liking himself more because he was more positive in his communication.

So I guess the real truth is, when we bring our best attitude to life in our communication, it will also help others with their attitude in life, and communication.  That’s the TRUTH!

I’ll post some of the simple communication processes in the upcoming weeks.

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Start in the middle!

November 28th, 2011 · Change, Leadership, Presentations, Self-belief/trust, Success

In my broadcasting years it was called, bury the lead, and I was guilty of it more than once.  The most important part of the story was written in the second or third paragraph.   Sometime I thought it needed a set up, other time I was concerned it had to be told chronologically.  No matter the reason the most important part of the story was ‘buried,” not intentionally but it happened.

The same happens in speeches.  The presenter, you or me, think we have to start at the beginning.  Eventually we get to the most important part … the part that we came to tell them … later in the speech.

Here’s a different way of speech writing or speech thinking.  Bring the middle to the front, or start in the middle.  Start with the part that is going to WOW the audience, start with the part that always works!  But Gary, you might say,  we have to give them the background.  Right!  Of course you do!  But I bet you can write around that with a simple phrase like…”let me back up to the beginning,” or” let me share how we arrived at that magical moment.”

I recently watched a video of a very influential person giving a presentation.  He has written three best selling books, has a wealth of knowledge and stories  and commands attention when he speaks.  But while I was watching him he was moving nervously, not sure of what he was saying, he looked at the floor, head down and filling space with ums and ahs!  He was horribly uncomfortable.

After about 7 minutes of this he got into the meat of his presentation.  The Ahs and Ums disappeared.  He stopped moving nervously and stood with a strong foundation.  He looked at the audience while telling his powerful stories.  No longer was I thinking this guy is nervous or uncomfortable.  I was listing to the stories he was sharing, no he was re-living!  He was a powerful presenter because he was sharing the part of the presentation where he was comfortable.   I thought out loud while watching “OH YEAH!”  He had buried the lead.

Well, not actually but it’s a similar concept.  As presenters we should start with something that allows us to be most comfortable.  Move your best stuff up to the top.  Start with the stuff you used to put in the middle.  You will start more comfortably and the audience will feed off your lead.  They feel comfortable.

Try it sometime.  either in a formal presentation or a casual conversation.  When telling that story that is funny or feeling, try to start with the most important part or the most important line.  It will get the attention of your audience and they will eagerly listen for more.  Start in the middle!

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Presentation Technique

May 8th, 2011 · Leadership, Presentations, Uncategorized

I ask audiences and speech classes I teach ” What is most important, the performance, the audience or the message?”

Hardly anyone answers the performance.  However when they do, they argue that the performance has a great deal of influence on how the audience receives the message.  Hard to argue with that reasoning.

Many, in fact most, will answer the audience.  It’s all about them isn’t it.  The audience is the reason you are presenting.

I think it’s all about the message.

I won’t let the audience or the class answer out loud anymore.  No show of hands to vote which is more important.  I don’t want them to think they shared a wrong answer so I ask them just to think about it.  Don’t respond for now.

If you think the presentation, or performance, is most important you get caught up in yourself and how you are doing in addressing the audience.  Many speakers think different, but it’s not about the speaker.

So how can I suggest the audience is not most important?  We wouldn’t be here if not for the audience.  They need the message, especially if it’s an important lesson or special truth they need to hear or understand.  Right?

I’m going to stick with the message being most important and the focal point of the presentation.  It’s all about the belief in the message being delivered.  If we truly believe in the message it will show with our performance.  We will live the message as much as we do present it.  If fact if we continually live the message, that will be our performance.

And if we believe in that message it will come across to the audience.  They will see the truth we believe.  It will show.  Passion and excitement will be the pathway of the words we share from the front of the room.  There is nothing we can do to better  value our audience than to commit to our message so that it is understood through our actions as well as our words.

When we focus on our message we better value our audience.  They will experience  the passion and excitement of our actions which are naturally created by our beliefs.

However, we can tune up our performance.

I want to continue working.   Message yes, but we can continue practicing how to live it in front of others.

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Military Basics

March 22nd, 2011 · Faith, Leadership, Self-belief/trust, Success

Spoke to the military a couple of weeks back.  I was the keynote presenter at the Kentucky National Guard Airman/Solider of the Year award.

I was a member of the Kentucky Air National Guard way back when.  In fact I was activated for 20 months of consecutive duty so I am classified as a veteran,  but I don’t wear the uniform anymore.  So it was eye opening to step back into the world of the military and share a message with the women and men who serve our country.  Serve is the key word and they understand the meaning of the word.  It’s about the basics.

Yes, the military follow procedures.  They are committed to the process as well as the outcome but they also understand it’s all about the people.  We sometime lose focus that the military is made up of people.  People who leave their families because they are committed to a bigger family.  People who grow lonely when they wake up in a place  far away from the people they love.  People who endure hardships to protect ideals and issues to which they are deeply committed.  That’s the key word, COMMITTED.  They choose to commit to a cause, issue, an ideal, and they stay with it.  It takes on a sort of reverence.  It’s more than words, it a way of life.  They live out their commitment through their actions.   It shows in the way they gather, the way they speak, the way they interact.  It becomes their procedure.

I showed up to thank them for their commitment and to encourage them to be resilient.  Sometimes it’s a challenge to stay committed to the important things …. God, Family, Self.  I thought I was there to motivate them.  But as often happens when we pay attention, we learn by listening.  I was encouraged and empowered to stay resilient in the basics … commitment to God, Family, and Self.   They didn’t say it, they showed it.   The basics!

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The Basics

March 5th, 2011 · Leadership, Self-belief/trust, Success

I just returned form a speaking engagement in Las Vegas.  I shared the ‘I CAN PLAY’ attitude with owners, leaders, and soon to be owners and leaders in the Pizza industry.

To tell the truth, sometimes I think the message is just too simple.  BELIEVE IN YOURSELF — TRUST YOURSELF… it’s the first step to success!  See what I mean.  You just read it and thought “Well of course, who doesn’t know that?”

Evidently a lot of people.  They just don’t get the basics.  They are looking for something with a little more pop, they want an idea that’s new.  Something they haven’t heard of yet.  They’ve heard this vision, positive atmosphere, and risk before …. got anything new?

Nope.  Just the basics.  I talked with individuals who got excited about the basics this week.  They heard the message in a different way.  They were influenced by the message.  They got it…. it was powerful!

Just received an email from a gentleman in Wisconsin.  Said he had put his dream away.  Decided that the corporate way was the best way.  But then he got the message at the Pizza Expo.  The basic message.  BELIEVE IN YOURSELF…. TRUST YOURSELF …. it’s the first step to success!  He got excited.  He’s getting uncomfortable.  He’s getting his dream out of mothballs.  He’s beginning to see himself opening his own pizza shop!  He can probably see friends coming through the door, feel the heat of the ovens, smell the garlic and see the joy he creates in his customers.

What changed!   He got back to the basics …. vision, positive atmosphere, risk …. the simple things that make an ‘I CAN PLAY’ attitude.  The basics that get us to trust and begin living successfully instead of looking for success!

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Farmers National Company

October 25th, 2010 · Leadership, Self-belief/trust, Success, Uncategorized

I Can Play presentation with Farmers National Company – Oct 25,2010

TEAMERSHIP – It’s like leadership but with the team in front!

  1. Focus on the Goal!
  2. Take Ownership!
  3. Create a Cooperative Environment!

Things we can bring to the team …. minus, division,addition, or multiply.  We want to multiply our team and each member.

Make it #3 — Create a SUCCESS Environment!

 

LEADERSHIP – When someone feels better about who they are because they were around you!

I CAN PLAY attitude

1.  VISION

Make it real.

Live it each day.

Share it with others.  

2.  POSITIVE ATMOSPHERE

Positive self-talk.

Positive people/places.

Focus on results.

3.  RISK

Face the negatives.

Expand boundaries.

Practice the difficult.

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You are powerful

October 2nd, 2010 · Change, Goal Setting, Leadership, Success

You are powerful!  You really are.  No telling what you can accomplish!

Visited Hammond Indiana yesterday and spoke to some wonderful individuals (mostly women) who help other people.  They work with children and families in Early Childhood development.  Their goal is to convince others they can be better than they think they can be.  They don’t always think about it that way but that’s what they are doing;  teaching people (kids & families) to grow … to have vision, to live in a positive atmosphere and to take risk and stretch.   Sounds like living life with an I CAN PLAY attitude.  That’s why I was there.

While preparing the room for the presentation I met a young man who was with security for the University where the conference was held.  He said he worked part time while going to school.  He was studying finanace.  I asked what he was going to do after college.  “Finance” was his answer.

“What company?” I asked.  Said he didn’t know.  “What will you be doing in finance?” I asked again.  Said he didn’t know.  “What will it look like when you do what you do?”  Said he didn’t know … but you could see he was thinking

I suggested he start to answer those questions and begin to see where he was going and also begin to see how it’s going to happen.  He was listening.  You can tell when people are listening.  Then I asked again, “Can you see yourself across the desk with someone asking for your help, maybe trying to buy a house?”  He nodded.  He could not only see himself there he could feel the future!

We finished our conversation.  He was aglow!  He could see success.  That’s vision!

As I continued preparing the room I thought …that’s powerful.  He could see the future as he creates it.  He’s powerful.  We all are!

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Word list

July 21st, 2010 · Change, Goal Setting, Leadership, Success

For the next few weeks I am going to list words that move me.  Perhaps they move you also.   “Move me?” you might say!

I mean move you mentally.  Cause you to take steps.  Make you do something different, improve yourself.

My favorite word is ADJUST.   “Now how can that move you?” is the question.   Adjust is a synonym for the word change.  I don’t like change, or at least the word.  Change sounds harsh, abrupt.  I would rather adjust.   Let the world change … I’ll just adjust.  It sound so much simpler.

Adjust is the way we learn and the way we deal with life.  We adjust our thinking about something and we learn more.  We open our minds (adjust) and we put in more knowledge.  When we try one way, and it doesn’t work, we adjust, try a new path. It really is that simple.  But we must be able, capable and eager to adjust.  That’s the hard part.  Looking for and being ready to adjust.

Somebody (I have looked it up but have not found who) said something like this.  If you want to go somewhere you’ve never been …  you have to do something you’ve never done.

That’s the long way of saying ….”ADJUST.”

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Simple leadership

April 24th, 2010 · Leadership, Success

While presenting a program to a group of teachers recently I shared my view of leadership.

“When you make someone feel better about themselves, you will become their leader.”   Many in the audience gave me the look.  “What?”  was written on their face.  I understand.  I get the look when I present my leadership view.  I also got the “look” at a recent program with Bankers.

Here’s the follow up.  Complement someone and they want more.  Help someone realize their talents and they will search you out because perhaps you have more information which can help them.  Show someone a path they can take to success and they will value your contribution and your knowledge and look for ways to gain more from you.

It truly is simple.  Simple Leadership.  At a recent class I asked a young lady to read the next paragraph.  She said no!  Didn’t even make eye contact.  Later I encountered her on the way out of class.  “Betty,” I said, “I asked you to read and you declined.  How come?”

She gave me a quick, “I don’t like to read,” and tried to move on.  I asked her to stop.  It gave me a chance to  make eye contact.  “You are one of the sharpest students in my class.  You have demonstrated you have impressive skills, and reading in class is a leadership skill.  Betty you are a sharp young lady with a lot of talent.  I can see it.  Let others see how talented you are.  Sometimes leaders like you have to push themselves.”

I started to walk away but shared one more bit of truth, “Plus you have a beautiful smile that everyone is attracted to.  You should share it more often.”

From that day forward Betty wants more of me.  She smiles much more and she has altered the way she acts around me.  Talks to me, tells me about her week and what’s coming up.   And… she offers to read in class.

Simple leadership.  Make someone feel good about themselves and they want more of you.  You become their leader.

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Goal Visioning

April 14th, 2010 · Goal Setting, Leadership, Success

When preparing and presenting goal setting seminars I discover many individuals  believe in the goal-setting process but they do not discipline themselves to practice it.  I understand.  It does take time initially to establish the method of success but the simple phrase ‘practice makes perfect’ has credibility. (Or some might inject  “perfect practice makes perfect.”  Yes I think we should do it the right way.)

The first step to develop the path to goal success is to vision, or dream, about the outcome you want to obtain.  The more you focus on the goal the more you reach.  The more you reach, the easier to discover the path … and once you see the path the goal is easier to obtain.  One of the key elements of motivation is to see the path but before the ‘how’ is established we need the ‘what’ to be established.  ‘The what!” is the vision of the outcome, the goal.  So the first step is to see the dream, the vision, the outcome, see success and make it real in our mind!  That will push us to the action needed to make it come alive.

Consider this formula or process for steps to success.  The first process to consider is to practice but not all practice the same way, so not just practice is important but effort is a key consideration.  This is where most goal setting goes wrong.  Little effort – little success.  The next is to dream about the possibilities.  Dream what it will be like to obtain the goal.  How will I feel about myself?  How will I act?   Will I accomplish more?  The dreaming leads to excitement and you grow passionate about the possibilities.  The passion causes you to perform at a higher level.  You begin to expect more out of yourself.  Little victories promote improved practice, effort and performace.  You begin to expand your dreams because you see you can accomplish more.  Success breeds success.

Finally the process promotes intention.  You wake up each day with a renewed idea of what you can accomplish.  Your purpose has been altered.  You step beyond what you were and now reach for higher goals.  Your intention is now to reach beyond comfortable to risk to improve.  The process has disciplined you to  expand your thinking about yourself and what you can accomplish.  You no longer reach for success but have made the choice to live successfully.  It’s what Gandhi said “We have to become the change we want to see.”

You have become a lifetime goal-setter.

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